10 FEATURES A SMARTPHONE WOULD HAVE IF EKTA KAP**R DESIGNED IT

Kirti Karan

Wednesday 29, 2015
  1. A dead phone can come back to life at any point.
  1. Every dramatic text will flash thrice on the screen. And zoom in and out depending on if it's from the MIL. 
    
  1. The flashlight will be replaced by a “Diya”. And if it goes off you know something big is going to go down.
  1. A “ji” will automatically be added to all the contacts on your list. Yes, that also means “pizza delivery ji”.
  1. There is no Siri. There’s only Sanskari. And it’ll probably send an automated text to your mother if you lie about where you are.
  1. Temple Run will only work if you remove your footwear first.
  1. There will only be the K series in this brand of Smartphone.
  1. Cookies don’t get stored on this phone. Only laddoos.
  1. The pre-loaded Tinder app will only show arranged matches. There is no swiping left here, just bringing your hands together for the Namaste.
  1. Every time your phone is switched on Smriti Irani will welcome you and take you on a feature tour.

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